Enjoying, and maintaining, healthy relationships is something many of us, at some time or another, have difficulty with.
Why is that?
What could be more wonderful than sharing life experiences and interacting with others? The problem frequently lies in our inability to truly appreciate that we all see things, life etc. through different eyes.
As individuals it is easy to pay lip service and say we realise that we all see things differently, but the reality is, we often like to get our own way and don’t allow for those differences or handle them very well, and through poor communication and misunderstandings, our feelings can get hurt.
Part of the daily challenge we face, during our time on Earth, is to learn how to manage our lives effectively and that includes getting along with others. We are all part of humanity and emanate from the same source. We come in different shapes and sizes and our outer features differ, but underneath that – we are the same.
We are all trying to lead satisfying and fulfilling lives, and we must remember that we are not separate from one another. Whether we are consciously aware of it or not, we are all walking in the same direction – back to the original source – returning as pure, perfect beings.
So why do we have so many problems getting on with each other?
Why do we sometimes find ourselves trapped in Power Struggles?
In life there are those that give and those that take. In any successful relationship there has to be an equal balance. It doesn’t matter who earns the most money or is more good-looking – it’s about everyone making an equal contribution and no-one doing all the giving or all the taking.
Relationships that are one-sided, where one person jumps to the tune of the other, are not likely to succeed long term without resentments setting in. This applies in any sort of relationship whether they are intimate or business relationships, or friendships.
To bring out the best in others we need to have a good relationship with ourselves, and this is often where it goes wrong – for if we don’t love, value and appreciate ourselves and our own needs – how can we expect others to?
Relationships need to be entered into simply for the joy of being with that person. Not to weigh up what we can get out of them; thinking about what the benefits might be rather than just enjoying another’s company. To love someone unconditionally is the challenge where relationships are concerned but too many want to hold the upper hand and selfish desires muddy the waters.
If you find it difficult relating to others, try to find something about them you can agree on, rather than just focusing on the bits you find challenging. Concentrating on:
- the differences in others
- holding the upper hand
- selfish desires
- feeling unworthy in ourselves of love and friendship
can stop us from enjoying the beauty within relationships.
We hope, and sometimes even demand, consistency from others and yet often, we fail to be consistent ourselves.
Gaining victory over our feelings and abandoning the need to hold the upper hand or use emotional blackmail as a means of holding others close, is what we need to work towards eliminating. Thus the ugliness that hurts and maims not only ourselves but others too, can be transmuted and transformed.
Finally, we each have to be responsible for finding and sustaining our own sense of happiness. To place our happiness onto the shoulders of others can often mean the weight of that responsibility is too much to bear. This is another reason why relationships sometimes fail.
The practical Qabalah can help us to improve the bonds we share with others and strengthen the relationship we have with our self.
We are not separate, therefore we must find a way of living in peace and harmony with one another.
More on relationships and boosting self worth can be found in the Netzach workbook.